Understanding Your Love Language
The term “love” is thought by most people to be an abstract, unspecific quality that must be internalized and controlled by one or more people. Love encompasses such a broad range of positive and strong emotional states, from the highest sublime virtue known as virtue, to the most basic, elemental pleasure, to the least satisfying hobby. In its widest sense, love is considered the desire of another person to derive pleasure from being loved. According to the many different philosophers and poets over the ages, love is the feeling that a person receives when they are loved.
While most people associate the word “love” with romantic love, another form of love is actually more of an affectionate sentiment that can happen in day-to-day relationships. This type of love is called non-romantic love. This type of love involves feelings of friendship, caring or companionship, but not necessarily attraction, which can be very intense in cases like those experienced by infatuated couples. These feelings are often experienced by people when they are parted from their partners.
Romantic relationships require the brain to produce certain types of brain cells, especially ones that are responsible for producing the hormone Oxytocin. Those who have a greater amount of Oxytocin in their brains are often attracted to others based on these similar feelings. People with loving, non-romantic relationships tend to exhibit a number of other brain patterns, including the following: healthy amounts of oxygen in their brain regions, high amounts of serotonin in their brain regions, and high amounts of Dopamine in their brain regions. All of these brain patterns result in people having feelings of well-being, contentment, gratitude and even love when they are separated from their partners.
The difference between love and romantic love, however, lies primarily in the way the brain produces Oxytocin and serotonin. In romantic love, the brain produces more Oxytocin than it normally does in other types of relationships. The Oxytocin causes the recipient of the kiss to experience feelings of warmth, trust, and intimacy. This is due to the fact that the two persons in the relationship share similar emotional experiences, such as trust, intimacy and love. However, if the person that you are feeling love towards feels jealousy or anger towards the person that you are attached to, you are experiencing what is known as “compulsory love”. If this is the case, you will experience increased levels of dopamine and lower amounts of serotonin in your brain.
Individuals who are in long-term relationships or marriages exhibit a number of other common brainwave patterns. Most exhibit high levels of both serotonin and dopamine. They also typically have a healthy level of personal attachment and social affection. Individuals who are in long term relationships also tend to have positive emotions such as peace, serenity, and bliss. Again, all of these traits are caused by the constant exchange of affection and positive emotions, particularly love, with another person.
Do you now understand the major components that make up the love language? It’s not hard to practice by spending some time just talking with your partner about everything that is going on in your mind and body. In time together, you will become so familiar with each other’s love languages, that you will be able to recognize when your partner is affectionate and when they are simply wanting to talk with you. The sooner you can figure out this type of thing, the more time you will be able to spend with your spouse. And, at the same time, your spouse will feel very special because you are sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions with them.
